Wednesday, January 26, 2011

a dose of crazy

My sister and I were talking the other day about crazy thoughts that go through our heads sometimes. I know everybody's got some. And every once in a while you voice them to someone and they just stare at you, and then you go through the whole "crickets chirping" senario in the back of your mind... I got that once when I told my friends I felt totally capable of killing someone with my bare hands IF the need arose....

Anyways, Juli said she could dedicate an entire blog just to writing about her crazy thoughts (no one doubts that, Juli). But she's not going to do that, so I'm stealing her idea just for this post. Here's a little more crazy (my crazy, not Juli's..... Although that would be funny...):

*Do you ever feel bad for the bruised apples that no one ever picks at the grocery store? Juli brought up this idea. And it's true, I do feel bad for them. But I imagine them getting all excited, anticipating getting picked up, only to find that the shiny, unblemished guy next to them got picked instead. Do you think they feel empty? Useless? Like their one purpose in life will never be fulfilled? Sad, right? And maybe not normal to imagine that apples have feelings...

*Do you ever get the feeling like your being followed? Watched? About to be kidnapped? So then you go through the whole scenario in you head of what you'll do when they make their move to grab you: Gouge their eyes out. Bite until your teeth touch. Will yourself to throw up. Permantly maim them. Things like that. It's good to be prepared, just in case.

*I have issues with leaving carts out in the grocery store parking lot, and I always feel like I've done something good in the world when I put my cart away. And if I'm ever tempted to leave my cart out I always think, what if the person that's in charge of gathering all the carts is having a really bad day? And what if they think, "If one more STUPID MOM leaves their cart in the middle of this parking lot I'm going to BLOW THIS PLACE TO SMITHEREENS!!" See? How could I possibly leave my cart out after thinking something like that??

*I always obsess over booking plane tickets and picking my seats and all that because I always think, what if the plane goes down, and what if I happen to pick the seat (or seats if I'm travelling with Zach and the boys) that is in the perfect spot and I (or we) happen to survive the crash and they all say, "If she had picked anyplace else to sit she would have been a goner...."

*Another thing I obsess over lately is money. And how little of it we have and how MUCH of it other people have (like those SUPER rich people that seem to make money just by blinking). I imagine them paying off our house with a simple wave of their checkbook and changing our lives forever (not that money can buy our happiness, I'm just saying - it would be amazing). I hope there are really people that do huge random acts of life-changing kindness like that for others. And I like to think that I would be that kind of rich person. That's probably not a crazy thought.

*I really like wearing skirts casually, but I only do it either in the summer time, or if I'm pregnant. Any other time and I feel too fancy. Black also makes me feel too fancy. Red does too. I don't even own black church shoes. And yet I wear shiny, metallic silver flats nearly every Sunday and don't feel overly dressed up.

*I don't like making sandwiches for the boys for breakfast because it doesn't seem breakfast-y enough. YET, I've been known to eat spaghetti, pizza, chicken divan, and really any other leftovers for breakfast. I much prefer those things over typical breakfast foods. And that doesn't seem weird to me at all.


K, that's all I can think of right now. But I'd love to hear some of your crazy thoughts. You know you've got some. We won't laugh.

13 comments:

Angela said...

You are great. I wish I had some crazy thoughts to share (I have them all the time... somehow I just can't dredge them up to the surface), but I sure enjoyed reading yours.

Hailey said...

Hahahahaha. This was great.

Ok, the apple thing? I do the same thing with Christmas trees. I always worry about the ones that are still sitting out there in the cold on Christmas Eve. Their life is being ended for nothing. They'll never have shiny lights or pretty ornaments or carols being sung around them. It's depressing, really.
I DO go through scenarios of how I'd get out of being kidnapped. And then I started sleeping with our BB Gun in the room when Brad's gone.
I always put my cart away because of the cart guys, especially if it's raining. I worry they're having a bad day too (but maybe not to the extent of blowing up the place... but you never know).

These were awesome. Thanks for the laugh.

OUR HOUSE said...

Yep, you're crazy. I don't feel like I need to post examples of my own craziness here though, because I've already posted about it a couple of times on my own blog. I'm totally bonkers. I bet Juli has the both of us beat though;)

Jenn-Lee at Moments said...

I love your crazy thoughts!I have thought about the kidnapping thing. Except Im not a kid. lol. You know what I mean. About the apples, we have gone and asked the produce guy when they dump out "old" stuff and they let kids get it free sometimes. AM has gotten free fruits and veggies for her pet bunny. Just a thought if you ever need to feed an animal bruised apples. lol. :)

Thanks for the fun laugh. Loved this post my friend!

Kristine Pratt said...

I totally have the kidnapping thoughts a lot as well as if I got pulled over by a cop the things I'd say to get out of it. Also, and this is the weirdest by far...I always imagine chewing on tin foil and how awful that would be!

Shannon and Marcus said...

Wow my crazy thoughts are fairly similar to yours.

The Quarnbergs said...

jake always gets after me for buying the "stupid" stuff at the grocery store. He once nailed it right on the head when he said, "I think you feel bad for the boxes of crackers that don't get picked, so you pick them." So true. I feel bad for things that have no feelings! Maybe it is I feel bad for the people that invented them and no one liked it. Who knows, but glad to see that there are people out there that feel bad for things like me!

The Quarnbergs said...

jake always gets after me for buying the "stupid" stuff at the grocery store. He once nailed it right on the head when he said, "I think you feel bad for the boxes of crackers that don't get picked, so you pick them." So true. I feel bad for things that have no feelings! Maybe it is I feel bad for the people that invented them and no one liked it. Who knows, but glad to see that there are people out there that feel bad for things like me!

Jill said...

I also think about that kidnapping thing too. And to take it a step further I sometimes get paranoid at night thinking some physco is going to sneak into my house through a window and run off into the night with one of my babies. So I end up checking and re-checking every door and window to make sure it's locked nice and tight. And sometimes I will randomly wake up in the night and go check on my kids. I know I'm paranoid. I also talk to inanimate objects as if they could talk back. And sometimes I think that someone has secretly planted hidden carmeras in my car and house and they are watching me. There's my little dose of crazy.

Thanks for the laughs! I loved this post!

Jessica and Jimmy said...

Oh man Katie... I could fill up a page with my crazy thoughts. The one I'll tell you... well it's kind of Jim's crazy thought about plane seats. He's always specific about what TYPE of plane it is and where the jets are... that way if the plane breaks in half, we'll be with the jets and have half a chance of surviving.

Sarah said...

Um.... you are hilarious :)

MaryPosa said...

We've talked about the self-defense thing before. I'm one hundred percent positive I could kick the trash out of any creeper who came waltzing my way. Have we ever discussed Concert Mary? Apparently the entire student body of PHS has heard of Concert Mary. Thanks, Coach Blair (jerk).

Also, I have very detailed plans of EXACTLY how I will spend/save the 700,000 dollars that is coming to me when i randomly drop a single dollar in a Vegas slot machine.

One more bit of crazy. Do you ever think about how awesome it would be go go back in time to the, say, 1950's and write and produce all of your favorite songs before anyone else does? If only i could get sent back in time armed with an iPod. If only.

maurine said...

I don't have too many crazy thoughts because Erick has more than enough for the both of us. Before Erick leaves for a business trip he'll go over exactly how I am to defend our family if an intruder...intrudes. It involves the gunsafe, mace, and possibly a taser. It honestly scares me silly. I also have a 950,000 volt PINK taser that Erick gave me as a gift that I keep in my purse. He also put a hammer under Bryant's bed so he can brake his custom-window (doesn't open) in case of a fire. I could go on...we have an emergency preparedness trailer (our friends call the "bug out" trailer), bio-diesel manufacturing thingy, and on and on and on. We like to be prepared for the crazy things around here! Really it's just Erick, and I've just learned to smile and nod to all of his fabulous crazy ideas!