a dose of crazy

My sister and I were talking the other day about crazy thoughts that go through our heads sometimes. I know everybody's got some. And every once in a while you voice them to someone and they just stare at you, and then you go through the whole "crickets chirping" senario in the back of your mind... I got that once when I told my friends I felt totally capable of killing someone with my bare hands IF the need arose....

Anyways, Juli said she could dedicate an entire blog just to writing about her crazy thoughts (no one doubts that, Juli). But she's not going to do that, so I'm stealing her idea just for this post. Here's a little more crazy (my crazy, not Juli's..... Although that would be funny...):

*Do you ever feel bad for the bruised apples that no one ever picks at the grocery store? Juli brought up this idea. And it's true, I do feel bad for them. But I imagine them getting all excited, anticipating getting picked up, only to find that the shiny, unblemished guy next to them got picked instead. Do you think they feel empty? Useless? Like their one purpose in life will never be fulfilled? Sad, right? And maybe not normal to imagine that apples have feelings...

*Do you ever get the feeling like your being followed? Watched? About to be kidnapped? So then you go through the whole scenario in you head of what you'll do when they make their move to grab you: Gouge their eyes out. Bite until your teeth touch. Will yourself to throw up. Permantly maim them. Things like that. It's good to be prepared, just in case.

*I have issues with leaving carts out in the grocery store parking lot, and I always feel like I've done something good in the world when I put my cart away. And if I'm ever tempted to leave my cart out I always think, what if the person that's in charge of gathering all the carts is having a really bad day? And what if they think, "If one more STUPID MOM leaves their cart in the middle of this parking lot I'm going to BLOW THIS PLACE TO SMITHEREENS!!" See? How could I possibly leave my cart out after thinking something like that??

*I always obsess over booking plane tickets and picking my seats and all that because I always think, what if the plane goes down, and what if I happen to pick the seat (or seats if I'm travelling with Zach and the boys) that is in the perfect spot and I (or we) happen to survive the crash and they all say, "If she had picked anyplace else to sit she would have been a goner...."

*Another thing I obsess over lately is money. And how little of it we have and how MUCH of it other people have (like those SUPER rich people that seem to make money just by blinking). I imagine them paying off our house with a simple wave of their checkbook and changing our lives forever (not that money can buy our happiness, I'm just saying - it would be amazing). I hope there are really people that do huge random acts of life-changing kindness like that for others. And I like to think that I would be that kind of rich person. That's probably not a crazy thought.

*I really like wearing skirts casually, but I only do it either in the summer time, or if I'm pregnant. Any other time and I feel too fancy. Black also makes me feel too fancy. Red does too. I don't even own black church shoes. And yet I wear shiny, metallic silver flats nearly every Sunday and don't feel overly dressed up.

*I don't like making sandwiches for the boys for breakfast because it doesn't seem breakfast-y enough. YET, I've been known to eat spaghetti, pizza, chicken divan, and really any other leftovers for breakfast. I much prefer those things over typical breakfast foods. And that doesn't seem weird to me at all.


K, that's all I can think of right now. But I'd love to hear some of your crazy thoughts. You know you've got some. We won't laugh.